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One Side: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it comes like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest helping her make content.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or dishonest, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: observing the details, posting them with an viewership that values the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my way of offering access, providing her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone enjoys being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes content genuine. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but companions support one another in small ways. My assumption was filming a short video here or there would be enjoyable for her. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I value our friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She needs to honor her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she’s working. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?